Every couple, married or not, goes through difficult times. Often, these times are short-lived and can be worked through. However, some times, the hurt and anger continue and neither spouse knows how to reach out to the other. Or, the anger is too great and they just don’t want to. Before you consider filing for divorce, try these ideas to improve your marriage.
- Improve your own attitude. Many people believe that both spouses need to work hard to save the marriage, but if just one spouse has the courage to improve his/her own attitude, it can change the entire marriage. You need to forgive yourself or your spouse. You need to look for reasons to be happy. You need to remember why you married your spouse. Let go of your resentments and really look for those lost feelings. No, it will not be easy, but you cannot rely on anyone else to make you happy – that comes from within.
- Absence does not make the heart fonder. Yes, when you were a child, missing your “love” made you dream about him/her even more, but as an adult, you need to be physically close to someone for those loving feelings to stay. Physical touch is an important part of any relationship. we are not talking about sex – a caress as you walk by each other, holding hands while you watch TV or a hug to say good bye are all great ways to start small, but still have that physical touch we all need.
- Stop talking about your problems. This may sound counter-productive, but every time you talk about the issues and don’t resolve anything, you are bringing up negative feelings again. Instead of telling your spouse how upset you are, tell him/her something positive – a simple thank you for taking out the trash or how nice they look that morning. Nothing will change in your marriage until your change what you are saying/doing. Yes, you may have been the injured one, but unless you want to file for divorce, you need let go of the anger and hurt and really remember what you love about your spouse.
None of these ideas will be easy for you to do, but you need to try if you want to improve your marriage and prevent a divorce. Swallowing your pride and being the one to reach out is very difficult, especially if you are worried about being rejected, but running to a divorce lawyer and ending your marriage before you try to save it will be something you regret for the rest of your life.
If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our ebook “How to Stop your Divorce.” This ebook offers suggestions that anyone can do to save their marriage and prevent a divorce. No marriage is too far gone that it cannot be saved if both spouses are willing to work at it. Grab your copy here.