When going through a divorce there are a number of mistakes that the majority of men will end up making. however, if you are aware of what they are, you can do your best to avoid them.
You do need to prepare yourself if you are facing a divorce, as you may find that your soon to be ex-wife can turn vindictive and try to take more than you would expect. Even if she doesn’t, being prepared will help you to hold on to more of your assets.
- Get legal advice. Do this before you even think about taking any other actions, as what you do in these early stages of the divorce can have a devastating impact on the final settlement.
- Don’t move out. Do not move out of the family home unless the circumstances are so dire that you have no choice. A judge will not look favorably upon you moving out, and you may find that you lose your entitlement to the house as a result. Your lawyer will advise you to stay put unless there is a definite cause for concern, such as some kind of abuse. If you come back one day to find that the locks have been changed, call the police, who will help you to get back inside, and also inform your lawyer immediately.
- Open an independent bank account. If you don’t already have one, open a bank account that is solely in your name. Make sure that your salary and any other income that you may have is paid into this account, rather than any that you hold jointly. This will prevent your ex from being able to spend your money, but also reduces the chances of her being able to claim half of it, which she would be entitled to do if her name was on the account. Do not make the mistake of emptying any joint savings accounts, but do check the balances and keep copies of any statements.
- Schedule consistent family time. Make sure you spend time with the kids, if you have any. If you want to have any chance of maintaining custody, even jointly, you need to prove that you are a good parent. It is harsh, but true, that the man is much more likely to lose custody of the children and will end up paying child support, even if his ex no longer allows him to have access. So, protect your rights by spending as much time with then as you can, and also keeping a record of this. Start to attend events at school, for example, even if you haven’t done this before.
- Don’t flaunt yourself. Show her some respect by not dating other women until after the divorce has been finalized. You may not like each other now; in fact, you may not be able to be in the same room without fighting, but at one point you loved this woman enough to marry her. After the divorce, you are free to date as many people as you want, but for now, be patient.