Is Adultery the Top Reason for Divorce?

Most people swear that if their spouse ever cheated on them, the marriage would be over.  They brag about how fast they would slap them with divorce papers and how they would take their spouse for everything.  With so many discussions about adultery, it is easy to believe it is the top reason for divorce.  Actually, there is another reason most people say they are filing for divorce.

Most marriages end in divorce because the couples feel they are no longer combatable with their spouse.  The differences they used to believe they could overcome have become bigger and they no longer feel they can overcome those issues.  Religious differences often become more important to couples as they have children.

Before having children, people who are not deeply religious do not care that their spouse may have different beliefs.  With the birth of their first child, those different beliefs can come into play in a large way.  One spouse may want to attend church each Sunday while the other firmly believes that is a waste of time.  Whether to raise their children to be religious, or what religion to choose, can cause huge fights.

Another way many people discover they disagree with their spouses is the way they approach money.  If one spouse believes in saving money and the other wants to spend it, the situation can get tense quickly.  A financial counselor might be able to offer some suggestions, but the reality is, the way people feel about money is often hard to change.  Fighting over money can get personal quickly and once the fighting becomes personal, it can be hard to get passed the issue.  If you know you are a saver and your spouse is a spender, it is best to devise a plan early in the marriage to satisfy both spouses.  If you are fighting about money, it is never too late to create a plan!

At times, spouses discover they simply have nothing in common with their spouse.  They find out that they do not enjoy the same hobbies and cannot find anything they both enjoy doing.  Since spending time together is an important way to stay connected, this can be especially hard on a marriage.

Adultery may be the reason some marriages end, but it is often the hidden causes that finally end the marriage.  People cannot easily change their basic beliefs in religion and money, nor do many people want to, so incompatibility is often the top reason for divorce.

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