Believe it or not, adultery is not the top reason most couples divorce. While adultery does damage a relationship, if both couples try, a marriage can survive one partner being unfaithful. It is a long and difficult process, but it can be done.
The reason most listed as the top reason for divorce varies from state to state and by what income bracket the couple falls into. Among the top reasons most often given for divorce are:
- Money conflicts. If one spouse loves to save money and the other loves to spend it, the conflict can be enough to break up a marriage. Money problems can also cause divorce if one spouse loses their job and the other feels the strain of trying to support the family. The best way to avoid money issues is to be open with what you need as soon as you realize there is a problem. Compromise so both spouses feel their needs are being met.
- Loss of respect. Loss of respect is listed more often than loss of love when people are asked about their reasons for getting a divorce. Respect can be lost in many ways that may have nothing to do with the marriage itself. If you discover your spouse cheating on taxes or short-changing clients, you may lose respect for him/her. Losing respect for your spouse is extremely difficult to overcome.
- Different Expectations. Once you are married, you may realize that while you want to travel and see the world, your spouse wants to save money and buy a house. Again, you will need to compromise to find that happy middle ground where both of you feel your needs are being met. Often, different expectations from the marriage can take years to discover.
- Abuse. Abuse is a top reason for divorce that many people never consider. Physical abuse is obvious and most people agree that they would never stand for that. Mental, verbal and emotional abuse is much harder to see and often, people outside of the couple have no idea it is happening or they ask the abused person if they are sure that is what is happening. Any type of abuse is not acceptable in any relationship.
Once you decide you want or need a divorce, it does not matter what the top reasons for divorce are. Even if others think your reasons are silly, they are important to you and you should never let anyone tell you any different. If you are unhappy or scared in your marriage and need a divorce, then start the proceedings. The people who truly love you will support your decision, no matter what your reasons are.