Does an Affair Always Mean the Couple has to Divorce?

Signs of Infidelity

An affair is devastating to a marriage, but it doesn’t necessarily mean divorce.  The circumstances that surround the divorce are a big indicator about whether the marriage can survive the betrayal.
If the spouse who had the affair felt unloved and unwanted at home, it may be harder for him/her to want to stay in the marriage.  Once that sense of being loved and cherished is gone, it is very hard to regain and the loss of trust is even harder to get back.  Another factor is whether the spouse who had the affair is still in contact with the person they had the relationship with.  If the unfaithful person truly wants to make the marriage work, they must agree to have absolutely no contact with that person.  Their spouse cannot move past the affair if there is still contact and it is nearly impossible to trust again.
An affair that was a one night stand, or was for a physical relationship only, is easier for both spouses to move past.  An affair that has emotional ties is much harder to forget.  Again, trust is hard to regain, but if both spouses want to stay in the marriage, it can be done.
Many couples find that going to a counselor is the best way to forgive.  A counselor has been trained to listen to both sides of the story and offer solutions to help the couple fall in love again and stay in the marriage.  The thought of opening up to a stranger about deep feelings may be very scary, but it will help find the root of the problems in the marriage.  Until those problems are talked about and resolved, there is little chance the marriage will survive.
Deciding whether to stay in a marriage after an affair is a tough choice.  The best thing to do is not make any decisions when the affair is first discovered.  If you are the spouse who had the affair, you probably feel guilty.  If your spouse had the affair, you are likely to be angry and hurt.  With such strong negative feelings on both sides, it is important to not make any decisions right away.  Give yourself time to calm down and focus on what you really want before choosing divorce.
If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our ebook “What Your Divorce Attorney Probably Won’t Tell You.” This ebook details the things your divorce lawyer is likely to never tell you – the strategies, plans and attitudes you must adopt while filing for a divorce and the information you must amass in order to make educated decisions. Grab your copy here.

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