Often, if you have come to the point where you want a divorce, an amicable divorce seems like an impossible reality. Many couples who are splitting up have little respect or regard for their soon to be ex’s feelings or needs. However, even those couples who are bitter towards each other can have an amicable divorce if they are both willing to try.
An amicable divorce is the best case scenario of a bad situation, especially if you have children. Watching their parents separate is devastating enough, but if they have to listen to fighting and screaming, too, it can cause severe emotional damage to a child. They may start to wonder if mom and dad love them anymore – or if they are the reason for the divorce. No child needs to hear one parent tear down the other and while it may be hard to bite your tongue around your child, you need to do this for your children.
Being respectful of your spouse is the first step towards an amicable divorce. You may disagree with every comment they make, but being respectful will keep a bad situation from getting worse. Think about what you really want in your divorce and not what you may want just because you know your spouse wants it, too. Fighting over silly things will cost you, both emotionally and financially.
If your spouse refuses to sit down and reasonable discuss options with you, remind him/her of how much money you will both save by making an agreement yourself and not paying lawyers to fight over possessions. You do not have to give up everything you need/want, but you need to really consider what those needs/wants are.
Hiring a mediator is also an option if you want an amicable divorce and you just cannot come to any agreements with your spouse. A mediator is less expensive than an attorney and is an impartial person to guide you both through your assets and liabilities. Of course, you do not have to take the mediator’s advice, but it is something you should at least consider.
Another thought about an amicable divorce is that these types of divorces are completed faster than ones where everyone is fighting. You may not want to agree with your spouse, but you will be free from them a lot sooner if you can work together one last time.
Amicable divorces are cheaper, faster and easier on everyone in the family. Even if you believe your spouse will never work with you to make decisions, it is worth the time to try. The emotional and financial benefits are too important to not make the effort to have an amicable divorce.