Most people laugh when they hear the term “amicable divorce” the first time. When people are involved in a divorce, being friendly with their spouse is the last thing on their mind. Unfortunately, getting revenge or “sticking it” to their spouse is what they want. If this is your attitude, you need to rethink your plans.
An amicable divorce does not mean you are not angry and hurt. It does not mean that you are going to have lunch with your spouse or spend time with him/her. An amicable divorce simply means that you are willing to sit down with your spouse and craft your own divorce settlement.
If you do this, your divorce will only take a few months and you will save a lot of money in lawyer fees and court costs. Instead of dealing with divorce decisions for months or years, you will be done in much less time. You can even hire a mediator (a neutral person to help you communicate your needs and wants with your spouse) to help you design a settlement you are both satisfied with.
Much of the time, a person’s goal with a divorce is to get it over with and never have to deal with that person again. If you have children, this will never happen. Even after your children reach the age of adulthood, you will still have to see your ex. Think about weddings and grandchildren – you will always run into this person. Do you really want the memories of a screaming, hate-filled divorce to come to mind every time you bump into this person?
No, you don’t. An amicable divorce is one where you can be friendly (not friends) and respectful to your soon to be ex. Smile and say hi when you see him/her. You don’t need to stand and visit – only be nice. If you can’t be nice for your own sake, think about your children. Their lives have already been disrupted by the divorce – do you want them to have to deal with angry parents for the rest of their lives?
An amicable divorce is best for you and your children, both in how quickly your divorce will be final and in how you and your ex treat each other for the rest of your lives. Even if your ex can’t treat you with kindness, you can do this for yourself and your children.
If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our ebook “Win your Divorce.” This ebook is packed with the information you need to prepare, file and survive your divorce – and even how to start your new life when it is finalized. Grab your copy here.