Honestly, an amicable divorce is not an oxy-moron. It is possible to achieve a divorce that is both quick and satisfying to both parties. You and your spouse need to agree to work together to reach decisions and remember that working together will make everything easier on your family and yourselves.
If you and your spouse can sit down together and reach an agreement about division of assets and liabilities, your children and money, congratulations! You are a couple who will make it through your divorce quickly and with less pain than couples who choose to fight. You will be able to keep your focus on your children and they will feel your love every day. Even years in the future, your children will thank you for making the divorce so easy on them.
Even if you and your spouse cannot sit down together to reach an agreement, you can still have an amicable divorce. If you are both willing to compromise and listen to the advice of someone else, you can hire a mediator to help design your divorce agreement. A mediator is an attorney who has been trained in mediation and who will be an impartial third party. Since he/she has no stake in the results, the ideas will be fair to both sides.
Both spouses have to be willing to talk to a mediator. If mediation is not possible, you can still have a more amicable divorce by hiring attorneys who believe amicable is the best for the family and who will work together to find an agreement that suits all parties. Hiring lawyers who want to battle in court will only hurt you and your children.
One mistaken idea about an amicable divorce is that it means you have to be friends with your spouse. This is not true – it simply means that you have to be respectful to him/her and their needs for a few months. If you can continue to be friendly (not friends) after the divorce, your children will be some of the lucky ones. They need mom and dad in their lives and if they know you do not hate your ex, it will be so much easier for them to deal with the divorce. Everyone knows a nasty divorce has lasting effects on the children, but an amicable divorce will, too, with even better results!