How can I Deal with my Divorce?

Often, people who are going through a divorce are so unhappy that they do not consider ways to help them deal with a divorce. They are taking one day at a time and dealing with the stress from that day and not thinking about what they will do when the divorce is final and they are free. Many assume they will be jumping for joy, and for some, that is true, but even those often have days where they feel sad and lonely.

The best way to deal with a divorce is to make sure you understand whatever you are feeling is fine. Do not let people tell you that you should be happy or that you need to start dating or that you should be sad your marriage is over. No one else has lived your life and they have no way of knowing what you have been through. They are only trying to help, but in doing so, may be laying guilt on you that you do not need. Politely thank them for their concern and then do what you need for your family.

Stress and anxiety go hand in hand with a divorce. Even if you are the one who filed the paperwork, you will have days that the stress and anxiety are too much to handle. Look for ways to reduce your stress, such as exercise or meditation. Pick up a good book or an old hobby you have missed. Make sure that you give yourself a few minutes of something you enjoy every day, whether it is a hobby or just an extra few minutes in the shower. You need to keep yourself together for your family.

While your family is depending on you, you need time to grieve, too. Give yourself permission to cry or scream if you need to (preferably without your children hearing you scream!). Your emotions will be messed up for a while and you need to let go of any guilt and deal with your feelings as they happen. There are no wrong feelings!

You will also need to be careful that you do not deal with your stress by over-eating or anything else in excess, such as shopping. You do not want to dig yourself into a hole of debt or of extra weight that you will need to lose when you start feeling better. If you have a tendency to shop when you are upset, consider putting your credit cards in a cup of water and freezing them. The time it takes to defrost them may give you time to consider whether you really want the item.

Everyone will deal with their divorce in different ways. While you are going through yours, do what you feel is best for you and your family. That is truly the best way to deal with a divorce.

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