Communicating with a Difficult Ex

Communicating with a Difficult Ex

Sometimes, no matter how much you try, you simply cannot communicate with your ex without seeing red and screaming at each other.  If you do not have children, it won’t matter when the divorce is final because you will never have to see each other again.  However, if you have children, you will have to have some contact until they are at least 18 years old.  Use our tips to deal with a difficult person.

Keep it Simple

If your ex tries to drag you into a screaming match every time you talk, be ready and know exactly what you need your ex to know.  Give him/her a time to pick up the children and say you need to go.  Remind them of a doctor appointment or a school program.  Do not feel the need to make small talk with this person.  State what you called about and say goodbye.

Use Technology

If even a short conversation can bring on a fight, use technology to send reminders.  Send a text or email with the information you needed to share.  Check you caller ID before answering your phone and if it is your ex, let them leave a voice mail.  You can deal with their problems later and if it is an emergency, you can return the call immediately.

Plan Ahead

Before you pick up the phone or start your email, know what you need to tell your ex.  If you have a list, you can simply stick to it and make sure that everything you needed is taken care of before you hang up.  This also makes sure you won’t have to contact them again anytime soon because you forgot something.

Be Respectful

Everyone understands the last thing you want to show your ex is respect.  However, respect can go a long way in discussing anything with your ex.  You may feel it isn’t fair that you always have to be the nice, kind one, but life isn’t fair.   People know when you don’t like them, no matter how much you try to hide it.  Be respectful and talk to your ex like you would your boss.  You don’t have to be overly kind, just calm

If nothing else, remember that your children are watching and listening to everyone you say to your spouse.  You want your children to grow up and now how to be respectful in difficult situations and this can be a wonderful way to teach them.

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