How to Cope with a Divorce

Going through a divorce is one of the most difficult times of your life.  Even if you believe this is for the best, you need to be prepared for the stress and sadness that comes with every divorce.  How you cope with a divorce depends a lot on your own personality and the situation you find yourself in.

For example, if you are the person filing for the divorce, you may feel relief that the process has begun.  This is normal, but be aware that even people who know divorce is the best thing for both parties will feel sadness and you need to let yourself feel it.  Trying to hide that you are sad will only increase your stress levels.  One of the best things you can do as you learn how to cope with a divorce is to give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel.  No one else can tell you exactly what you will go through.  This is something that is very personal and you should not try to cope with your divorce in the exact same way as someone else did.

Many people have an image in their head of the freedom they will feel and how happy they will be when the divorce is final.  You need to remember that just because the paperwork is signed, you will not automatically feel better.  It will be a relief that that part is over, but now you have to learn how to live as a single person, and perhaps as a single parent, and that can be stressful, even as it is a relief.  How you cope with your divorce is up to you and no one else.  If you feel angry, then be angry.  Let yourself be sad for the loss of your dreams of a long and happy marriage.

For some people, dating as many people as they can as soon as they can is what they believe they are supposed to do.  While this may be true for some people, not everyone wants to rush out and find a new love.  Some experts agree that you should give yourself at least two years after your divorce to make any type of life decision.  You need to give yourself plenty of time to cope with your divorce and all of the issues – emotionally, socially and financially – that come with those final papers.  Follow your own heart and head and do not let anyone else tell you what you should or should not be feeling.  Coping with a divorce is intensely personal and you will need to go through the stages, such as anger, sadness, and peace, in your own time at your own pace.

Every person has their own ways of coping with a divorce, just like we each have our own ways to handle the stress in our lives. Do not try to follow the paths of anyone else.  Do what you need to do to get through this extremely difficult time. Remember to take care of yourself as you cope with the divorce.  You cannot take care of your children if you do not care for yourself first.  Take your time and let yourself heal before rushing into any important decisions.

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