In most cases of divorce, both parties know they have problems that need to be worked on, but sometimes, one spouse is willing to work on the relationship, while the other wants a divorce. If you are the one who wants to keep trying, it can be extremely difficult to figure out how to cope with a divorce you did not want.
The hardest thing you may have to do is try to understand that any emotion you are feeling, from anger to sadness to relief, is fine. No one can tell you how to cope with your divorce because no two couples are alike and your individual needs will be different than anyone else. Often, people who are only trying to help will tell you to snap out of depression or to be relieved that you do not have to deal with your spouse anymore. As surprising as it sounds, even people who were in terrible relationships often miss their spouse, simply because it was a known comfort and finding your way after divorce is scary.
If you did not want the divorce, you may feel that if you fight harder to get your spouse back, you can prevent the divorce from happening. Whether this works or not depends on many factors and the type of relationship you still have with your spouse. If you can sit down and have a reasonable conversation, by all means, try that. However, contacting an unwilling spouse constantly is not a good idea and will only make it harder for you to find out how to cope with the divorce.
Many people find how to cope with a divorce is simply by taking one step at a time and not looking too far into the future. They find that following a routine helps them get from one day to the next and soon they realize they are actually feeling a little better. The biggest mistake you can make after a divorce is making any big decisions, such as quitting your job or moving, while your emotions are still so tender. You want to make that type of decision with a clear head and not with your emotions.
Give yourself permission to choose the best path for you. Exercise, read a book, take a vacation – whatever you need to feel better is fine. Let yourself be happy or furious or sad. Each day will bring new ways to show you how to cope with divorce and ways to find your way back to happiness again.