First off – congratulations! The hardest step in saving your marriage might be just to admit that’s what you want. When a marriage has had problems, it is often easier to throw in the towel and divorce instead of putting in the hard work you need to save your marriage. Use our tips to save your marriage and stop the divorce.
- Forgive yourself and your spouse. This may sound too easy, but you cannot hope to have a happy future together until you can completely forgive yourself and your spouse for any mistakes that were made in the past. This includes affairs! No, it won’t be easy, but you don’t want a future that is clouded with mistakes from the past. Once the mistakes are forgiven, you can’t bring them up again – no matter how much you may want to.
- Negative emotions are temporary. It may seem like you have been angry at your spouse for years, but surely there have been good times in the anger. Otherwise, you would have divorced many years before. Remember those good times and let go of the anger. It is never easy to move past hurt that others have caused you, but you will need to let hurt and anger go and remember the love you have for each other.
- Make the first move. Being the first to open up about saving your marriage will not be easy. There is a chance your spouse will have little interest in saving it and you will be hurt, but isn’t it better to know for sure there is no future than to divorce and always wonder “what if?” You can’t force your spouse to do anything, but you can use gentle reminders of the love you felt for each other. Be sure to give your spouse plenty of space to think and do not be too clingy.
- If your spouse is willing, contact a counselor. Make sure the person you call has experience with marriage (or couples) counseling. A counselor will help each of your share your feelings, wants and needs in a neutral way and show both of you how to really listen to what your spouse is saying. Your counselor can also offer exercises for you to do at home to help strengthen your marriage.
Saving your marriage will take a lot of perseverance and hard work, but it will be well worth it. Many couples say that their marriage is even better after going through such a terrible time and yours can be stronger, too!
If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our ebook “How to Stop your Divorce!” This ebook details the things you need to know to save your marriage. If you are not sure your marriage is really over, then this is the book for you. It offers tips to forgive mistakes and move on to a happy ever after together! Grab your copy here.