Before filing for divorce, many couples want to try anything they can to save their marriage. Marriage counseling is always an option for anyone who is having issues in their relationship, whether they are considering divorce or not. If you decide to try counseling, make sure you choose a counselor who has experience with couples counseling.
A counselor will listen as you and your spouse talk about the issues in your marriage. One thing a counselor is very good at is making sure you truly hear exactly what your spouse is saying. Since he/she has no emotional ties to your relationship, your counselor hears just what each of you says. You may think you hear what your spouse says, but often, we don’t really listen to each other.
Our emotions or problems from the past make it hard to listen to each other without judgement, anger or pain. Do your best to focus on the words your spouse is saying, not the emotions you feel as you listen. What you might consider criticism may be nothing more than your emotions springing to the surface.
Counselors can also help you learn how to communicate with your spouse. Problems with communication can be the cause for many problems in relationships. People may have affairs because they feel their spouse doesn’t listen to them. Money problems can get out of control because spouses don’t listen or understand the needs of each other.
Marriage counseling can help improve relationships, but it is not a cure-all for your marriage. You and your spouse must really want to work out your issues for counseling to work. You can listen to a counselor for hours, but if you aren’t both committed to the relationship, it won’t help you at all. Counseling can’t fix relationships where the couple is only half-heartedly trying or only going to counseling to keep up appearances.
Not every marriage can be (or should be) saved. Only you and your spouse can decide whether you want to keep working your way back to happiness or if you feel you would be happier ending your marriage. There is no sure-fire way to improvement your marriage – it takes a lot of hard work and effort on from both parties.
If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our free 7-Day “Divorce 101” course. Sign up below and you’ll immediately start receiving tips and guidance you can use to minimize the pain and time required to get through the divorce process.