Unfortunately, many spouses don’t consider who they are hurting when they withhold money they are supposed to pay. Some believe that by paying cash “everyone” else will not know just how much they have to pay. Others have even stranger reasons for wanting to pay cash or check instead of having it withheld from their paycheck. The best thing you can do is ask your spouse why he/she wants to pay cash. Maybe it is a simple reason that you can work out together.
There are people who will pay what they are supposed to, regardless of how they feel about their ex. The problem comes when the ex has other things that need paid and assumes you will not mind if the payment is late. On the other hand, if a person pays in cash, their ex may try to say they were never paid and want more money. It is better for everyone if the money is withheld from the paycheck and deposited into the proper account.
Most states set up these automatic payments through your local Department of Job and Family Services without asking for a preference from either spouse. If your state does not do this, you can make the request as part of your paperwork for your divorce.
If your spouse still wants to argue about this situation, you need to make them understand that you are not asking because you are worried he/she won’t pay, but to protect everyone in the family. Remind him/her that if the money is paid directly to you, there is no way you can ever say that you did not get paid and try to get more money from them. Yes, this may cast a negative shadow on you, but the important thing is to get their agreement, not make yourself look good.
Automatic payments favor both parties. The person that has to pay the money has proof of payment and doesn’t have to worry about forgetting to send a check. The ex who is receiving the payment is confident that the money will be available as needed to take care of the children and pay their expenses. If the court ever has a question about the amount that was paid, it is easy for those records to be pulled and the information shared with those who need to know.
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