What do I do First When I Want a Divorce?

Top reasons for divorce

The first thing you do when you want a divorce depends on your situation.  If you and your spouse both agree that this is the best for your family, then talking to your spouse is obviously what you should do first.  Even if your spouse isn’t expecting it, you should talk to him/her first and let them know how you feel.  However, if you are in an abusive relationship, do not talk to your spouse.  Go to a lawyer first and get their advice on how to stay safe.

Abusive relationships can be tricky to get out of.  If you are the victim of physical abuse, the possibility of your spouse harming you is much higher.  You may need to plan on staying somewhere safe until your spouse accepts the divorce.  Your lawyer and the police can help you make that decision.  There are also shelters available for women in abusive relationships.  It will be hard, but you are special and do not deserve to be treated in that way.

If you can discuss the situation with your spouse, you may be able to have an amicable divorce.  In this type of divorce, both spouses share their wants and needs from the settlement and they work together to make decisions for their family.  This type of divorce is less stressful and much less expensive than fighting for months in court.  If at all possible, try to compromise with your spouse.

Contact a lawyer first if you and your spouse will not be able to work together for a settlement.  Your divorce attorney will advise you on the options you have and what you can expect from your settlement.  You can have a separation agreement drawn up and even start the paperwork for your divorce.  It will probably take some negotiating before an agreement can be reached.  Remember that each time your lawyer needs to meet your spouse’s lawyer, your cost goes up.  Try to reach an agreement quickly for the good of everyone in your family.

If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our ebook “What Your Divorce Attorney Probably Won’t Tell You.” This ebook details the things your divorce lawyer is likely to never tell you – the strategies, plans and attitudes you must adopt while filing for a divorce and the information you must amass in order to make educated decisions. Grab your copy here.

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