Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful life events there is. Even if this is what you want, you may be surprised at how you are affected. I wanted and needed my divorce for almost ten years before I finally filed for it and it took two years after it was finalized before I felt like I was healed.
I had happy days during those two years, of course, but I was surprised by how hurt and angry I was when he first moved out – even if it was my idea. I cried for many days and constantly worried about how this was going to affect my children. I was lucky in that I had a supportive network or family and friends to rely on. I also had a counselor for a few months.
She helped me before and during my divorce. I felt tremendous guilt at what I thought was selfishness in wanting to be free from someone who verbally abused me and the children. It doesn’t make sense now, but at the time, I desperately needed a neutral person that I could rant and cry to.
This doesn’t mean everyone who goes through a divorce will need a counselor. Honestly, had I not been seeing her before the divorce (I tried to get my ex to go to counseling with me before I filed) I probably would not have gone as I was living through the divorce. But, there is no shame in admitting you need extra help in dealing with your divorce and the feelings that go with it.
You may feel incredibly sad and depressed, or angry. You may feel unable to handle decisions or your children. You may want to scream and throw things. To top all of this off, you have people constantly telling you how to feel better or that you shouldn’t be feeling like you are. I had well-meaning people telling me I should be happy and relieved he was gone, but there were days I could barely get out of bed. You need to know that your feelings are normal and there is no reason for you to worry about what other people think. Find a counselor if you truly feel you cannot deal with your divorce and start to heal.
If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our ebook”What Your Divorce Attorney Probably Won’t Tell You.” This ebook details the things your divorce lawyer is likely to never tell you – the strategies, plans and attitudes you must adopt while filing for a divorce and the information you must amass in order to make educated decisions. Grab your copy here.