Helping your Children Cope with your Divorce

Divorce is not easy on anyone.  It affects not only the couple, but their children, families and even the family pets.  Parents are always the most concerned about their children and how to help them cope with the divorce.  Check out our tips below to help your children through this difficult time.

  • Tell them together. If at all possible, both parents should be part of this hard discussion.  Control your anger at each other and remember the love you have for your children.  Calmly explain that you are no longer going to be married, but that the love you feel for them has not, and will not, change.
  • Don’t blame anyone. As much as you might want to scream to the world that your ex is a cheating liar, doing this will only alleviate your pain for a few minutes.  Your children will be the ones to suffer, not your soon to be ex.  Never say anything negative about your ex when your children may overhear you.  Call a friend and vent away – far from little ears.
  • Keep their routine as normal as possible. Obviously, there will be some changes for your children, but if you can, keep them in the family home and in the same school.  The last thing they need is to have a parent move out and lose their home, too.  They will need the support of their friends to help them cope with the divorce.
  • Allow the children to see their parent whenever they want. It may seem like a good way to get back at your spouse by being too controlling over when he/she may visit the children, but again, you are only hurting the kids.  They need love and reassurance from both parents and withholding visits could be devastating to the children.
  • Work with your spouse in an amicable divorce. The last thing you are probably going to want to do is to be friendly with your spouse.  An amicable divorce does not mean you are friends – it simply means you are willing to work with your spouse to come to an agreeable settlement without fighting over details for months.  The sooner your divorce is settled, the sooner everyone can move on to your new “normal.”

Expect to have some difficulties with your children.  They may act out or return to babyish ways, depending on their age.  Sleeping and eating patterns may change.  All of this is normal; however, some children need extra help in coping with a divorce.  Contact your doctor if your child continues to have problems.

If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our ebook “Win Your Divorce.” This ebook details the things you need to know before you file for divorce, how to survive the emotional roller coaster and how to move on to a happier life when it is final. Grab your copy here.

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