How do I Cope with a Divorce I didn’t Want?

In many divorces there is a spouse who didn’t want the divorce and may even have no clue their spouse was considering one.  If this describes your situation, we have some tips to help you cope with the divorce.

If you had no idea your spouse wanted a divorce, you need to give yourself time to accept the decision.  This won’t be easy and you shouldn’t make any big decisions while you are trying to understand what happened to your marriage.  Your emotions will be crazy for a while, but that is perfectly normal.  You are likely to be hurt and feel like crying to angry and ready to throw things.


Once you have accepted that the divorce is going to happen whether you want it or not, the best thing to do is to work with your spouse and get it over with.  This does not mean give in to their demands, but to work together to reach a settlement that you are both happy with.  No doubt you will have little interest in doing anything to make your spouse happy, but the sooner you reach an agreement, the sooner you can begin to move on with your own life.

To move on, try to maintain the same schedule you had when you were married.  Routine is good for getting your mind off painful things and starting the process of finding a new future.  Use stress relievers to reduce your anxiety.  You can try exercise or meditation.  Yoga and pilates are both great options, too.  Make sure you are eating right, even when the last thing you want to do is eat. Sleeping might be a problem, too, but try to relax enough to get some sleep.

After several weeks, if your emotions are still raw or you can’t eat or sleep, call your doctor and schedule a visit.  Some people need to take anxiety medicine while they are going through a difficult time.  There is no shame in this and you should never be embarrassed to ask for help if you need it.

Moving on with your life won’t be easy, but finding a way to be happy is a great way to let your ex know you don’t need them.  Happiness is a great revenge!

If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our ebook What Your Divorce Attorney Probably Won’t Tell You.  This ebook details the things your divorce lawyer is likely to never tell you – the strategies, plans and attitudes you must adopt while filing for a divorce and the information you must amass in order to make educated decisions.  Grab you copy here.


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