If you don’t know what the mistakes are, then logically you won’t know when you are making them or how to avoid doing this. The majority of divorce cases are initiated by women, and it is then up to the man to try to defend his rights and his property. A judge may rule that his spouse is entitled to half of everything, regardless of who earned the money.
Divorces can occur for a number of reasons, but one of the first things that you need to realize is this – the woman you are divorcing is not the same person as the one you married. If she was, then chances are that you would not have found yourself in this position.
Two of the biggest issues in divorce are children and money. If you have kids and you intend to fight for custody (whether joint or sole), then there are several things you need to know.
Firstly, do not move out of the family home. During the divorce proceedings, many men find themselves under pressure to move out. Unless there is a clear case of abuse and your lawyer advises you to move out, you should stay where you are. Leaving will severely damage your chances of being awarded custody of the children, as it suggests that you are not putting their welfare first.
If you return home one day to find that the locks have been changed (don’t laugh – it has been known to happen), you should call both the police and your lawyer. The police can help you to regain access to your home, and your lawyer needs to know what has happened.
Take an interest in what your kids are doing. You may even want to start keeping a diary record of when you see them and what you do. Unfortunately, you will need to prove that you are a good father, but your spouse will not need to provide any such evidence. The majority of custody battles are won by the mother, but you should not just give up because of this. Compile detailed evidence and maybe think about people who could act as witnesses.
When it comes to money, the second major issue in divorce, you should start to keep your finances separate. Open a new bank account that is only in your name, and ensure that all of your income is paid into this account. If you have joint savings accounts, then it will probably be very tempting to empty these, but you should resist the urge. Instead, you could ask your bank to freeze the accounts, ensuring that she cannot clear them out either. This is the best way to go about retaining your share.
You should start putting money aside into an instant access savings account. This will be needed to pay your divorce lawyer. Costs can mount up quickly, so put aside as much as you can afford. Again, ensure that the account is in your name alone.