When you are going through a divorce, the everyday details of getting the kids where they need to be, taking care of your house and making decisions about your divorce can prevent you from thinking about your relationship with your in-laws. Once the divorce is final, you will have to learn how to have a relationship with them based on your new status as a non-relative.
Some families are able to stay close, even after the divorce. If yours happen to be willing to do that, congratulations! This is the best of both worlds and is the most beneficial for your children. They are innocent in the drama of the divorce and being able to freely talk about their family with you can ease the pain they feel from the divorce. Many families strive for this type of relationship.
Even if you don’t have this type of relationship with your ex’s family, you can still choose to be kind and respectful to them. It won’t cost you anything and no one is saying you have to become best friends. Sometimes, the best you can hope for is mutual respect and kindness. Remember – you all love the same children and the kids need each of you. Smile and say hi when you bump into ex-family members and go on about your business. You don’t need to visit – you just need to be friendly. Even if that family rejects your kindness, you can rest easy knowing you took the high road and treated them well.
In other families, each spouse’s family takes his/her side and won’t believe that their family member did anything wrong. If this is the case with you, it can be very difficult to maintain any type of relationship with your ex in-laws. However, no matter how hurt you are by their choice, for your children’s sake, you cannot be mean or negative to them. They are still family to your kids and are loved. At the same time, you deserve the same respect from that family. If your kids are being told negative things about you, talk to your ex and his/her family.
How to deal with divorce is tough and when you add in your families, it can be even harder. You only hurt yourself and your kids if you are disrespectful or mean to ex in-laws. At times, no relationship will be possible and that’s ok. You still need to be respectful and keep in mind that it costs you nothing to be kind.
If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our ebook “Win your Divorce.” This ebook details the things you need to know to prepare for your divorce, find best lawyer and get the best possible outcome for your divorce. Grab your copy here.