Often, people assume that once the love is gone from a marriage, there is no hope. While it can be difficult to find the love again, it is often the lost respect that is harder to regain. Try our ideas for how to save your marriage and you may find the respect and love again!
- When you want to save your marriage, you need to let go of any anger you may have. No one is suggesting this will be an easy thing to do, but until you can look at your spouse with anything other than anger, you will not be able to rebuild your marriage. You do not need to forgive your spouse right away, but you do need to find a way to let go of the anger. Love and trust will never return if you see red every time you see your spouse.
- Try to remember how you felt on your wedding day. Remember the joy and happiness – even think about the little details that did not go quite the way you planned. The point is to recall how beautiful or handsome your spouse looked and how bright your future was. It does sound too simple but remembering special times in your marriage will help you recall why you married this person in the first place.
- Bring out old photo albums and remember vacations and holidays. If you truly feel your marriage is over, this may be painful to do. It can help you decide whether you want to try and regain those happy times or not. At times, the anger and hurt can over-shadow the love that may still be there. You may not be able to imagine your life without your spouse and this can help you get passed your hurt and anger.
- Bring back date nights. Even if all you do is sit in a dark movie theater and not speak to each other, this can help heal wounds. The simple act of being together can start to rebuild your lost or buried feelings. Sit on your front porch and watch the wildlife. Go for a walk. You do not have to be talking to each other every minute. As you walk, take a look at your spouse and really look at the details. Comment on how pretty she looks in that color of shirt or that his new boots are cool. Small talk may be difficult, but remember your first date. You are getting to know your spouse again!
If you truly want to save your marriage, you will have to open yourself up to the possibility of being hurt again. It will not be easy, but a divorce will not be easy, either. Trying to save your marriage is definitely worth the effort!