Once your divorce is final, it may seem that everyone has someone they just know you will love and want you to meet as soon as possible. You may even be ready to go out and have some fun, but are you sure you are ready to start dating? Dating implies that you are getting to know someone with the hopes of having a serious relationship. Most people are not ready for serious for a long time after their divorce is final.
- Make sure you want to go out because you are ready for a date and not just because you are lonely. Loneliness is a terrible feeling and one most people will do anything to avoid. This is understandable, but going on dates before you are ready is setting yourself up to be hurt.
- Some experts believe that you should wait a month for every year you were married before you begin to date again. For example, if you were married five years, wait five months before you consider dating. This is only an example, though, because some people simply aren’t ready to date for a long time after their divorce.
- Always decide for yourself and don’t be pushed into anything. Your friends and family want you to be happy. Watching you sit home every night makes them worry about you and they want to help. However, only you can know when you want to date. Politely tell them you are healing and are just not interested in dating. To avoid being lonely, invite friends to movies or to sporting events. Just because you are not ready to date doesn’t mean you can’t go out and have fun.
- Dating will be scary. After being married, everyone is worried about starting the whole dating process again. Horror stories abound about terrible first dates and strangers who aren’t quite as nice as they seem. Remember, scary stories are always more fun for people to repeat and you are much less likely to hear about all of the amazing people in the world. Just because your co-worker’s cousin’s neighbor dated a crazy person she couldn’t get away from does not mean you will, too. Move slowly and get to know someone.
The best guide to knowing when you are ready to date is your own head and heart. If you are curious about dating, then you might be making progress towards wanting to date. If you have little interest in going out, then don’t. Your “gut feeling” will let you know when you are ready.
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