There is no easy divorce. There will always be pain and anger, even if you both feel that going your separate ways is best for everyone. The best case scenario for everyone is an amicable divorce. An amicable divorce is one where you and your spouse decide to work together to create an agreement you are both satisfied with. This saves each of you money and months of anxiety.
For some couples, it is possible to sit down and create their agreement. In other cases, they need help and this is where mediation comes in. A mediator is a neutral third party who has received training in mediation. Your mediator will listen to both sides of the discussion and offer suggestions for your agreement. You do not have to use the suggestions, but mediators know what judges in your area typically want to see, so you may want to seriously consider any options you are given.
Your mediator can help you really listen to what your spouse is saying. When we are dealing with such emotional issues, it is sometimes difficult to hear the words someone is saying and look past the emotions. A mediator is skilled at listening and can help you do the same.
Mediation is different for everyone. Some couples cannot stop fighting and are separated into different rooms while the mediator goes back and forth with offers and suggestions. Other times, the couple sits together and discusses everything with the mediator offering ideas as needed. How your mediation process occurs is entirely up to you and your spouse.
You both need to feel comfortable in sharing your wants and needs and this may be easier to do in a private room with the mediator and not in front of your spouse. Remember that even though you are striving for an amicable divorce, that does not mean you need to give in to all of your spouse’s demands. You need to decide what is most important to you and fight for that. However, divorce, like marriage, is about compromise and you may need to give in to some demands to get what you really want.
Divorce mediation is becoming more popular. Couples are realizing that amicable divorces are best for everyone involved and if they cannot negotiate an agreement together, they are more willing to hire someone to help them. The cost of the mediator is often off-set by the lawyer and court fees that are saved fighting over details.
If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our ebook “Divorce Mediation.” This ebook describes what mediation is, how to find a mediator and how mediation can save you time and money in with your divorce. Grab your copy here.