My Children don’t want to Visit my Ex – Can I do Anything?

One of the hardest parts of any divorce is not seeing your children all of the time.  Whether you are the custodial parent or not, there will be times you want your children with you and they are with your ex.  This is difficult but becomes even more difficult when your children don’t want to visit their other parent and beg you not to make them go.

The first thing you need to do is not assume the worst about your spouse until you have proof of any wrong-doing.  Children quickly learn how to play one parent off the other to gain what they want or to get out of doing things they dislike.  They may tell you that your ex is mean or doesn’t take care of them when they visit.  Before you flip out on your ex try having a reasonable conversation and let him/her know that the kids are unhappy for some reason.  It could be as simple as not being allowed to have ice cream for supper.


After talking to your ex, talk to the children again and try to find out exactly why they no longer want to visit.  Does your ex have a new friend that they don’t like?  Does your ex speak to them about you?  Try to convince them that you are the cause of the divorce?  Any one of these would be reason enough to make your children not want to visit.

If you find out that there is a legitimate reason for the children not wanting to visit, again, the first thing you need to do is discuss the issue with your ex.  If your ex won’t talk to you, then you need to contact the attorney who helped with your divorce and get his/her advice.  There are ways to change a custody agreement, but you need definite cause and not just that the kids are mad at their other parent.

You may need to take your ex back to court to adjust the custody arrangement if there is a danger to the children.  If your ex abuses or neglects them while they are visiting, you may have cause for a change.  Drug abuse is another reason courts might change an agreement.  Another possible reason could be if your ex’s job situation has changed and he/she are working on visiting days.  Your lawyer is the best one to answer your questions about changing custody agreements.  If talking to your spouse doesn’t resolve the problem, contact your attorney.

If you are currently involved in a custody dispute and require legal guidance, don’t hesitate to contact the Law Office of Rick D. Banks and schedule a confidential consultation. Call our Fresno office at (559) 222-4891.

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