Staying calm and going through a divorce may not seem possible, but it can be done! Obviously, there will be times when you will be furious with your ex and the situation, but even those angry times can be easier to live through when you use calming techniques.
When you feel yourself beginning to get angry and tense up, inhale a deep breathe through your nose. Breathe as deeply as you can and hold it for a few seconds. Slowly exhale through your mouth. You will be amazed at how much calmer you will feel after a few deep breaths. Also, breathing deeply will give you a few minutes to think about what you really want to do about the situation so you do not say or do something you will regret.
Try to Remember the Good Times you Had
The hurt and anger of the recent past are obviously too fresh to forget completely, but if you try to remember the good time you have had with your spouse, you may be able to get through your divorce with less anger. If you think about how much you once loved your spouse, the feelings of wanting to get even with him/her may subside a little. This will be difficult, but for the sake of your family, try to overcome the anger and desire for revenge.
Think of your Children
Remember that every time you scream at your spouse, you are hurting your children, too. Yes, you are hurt and angry, but they are hurt, too, and having to live through a situation that they did not create. If you can keep your children as your main focus, you will be able to stay calmer during the divorce. Walk away from the situation when you feel as if you are going to lose control.
Use Stress Reduction Techniques
Even when you are not angry, use techniques to reduce the stress in your life. Make sure to eat right, get enough sleep and exercise. A long walk can work wonders for a person’s mood and the exercise releases calming chemicals in the brain. Take time to do hobbies that you enjoy and spend time with people who make you happy. Your divorce may be all you can think about, but you need to have times when you are focused on other areas of your life. A build up of stress will make it much harder for you to remain calm during your divorce.
Few people go through a divorce without anger. It is fine to feel that anger, as long as you can let it go and focus on your main objective – a quick divorce that allows you to move on with your life!