Even if you don’t have children to tell, sharing the news of your divorce with family and friends can be just as difficult. The last thing you want to do is to have to keep going over and over the reasons or to have to deal with everyone else’s emotions when yours are still so raw. It can be especially difficult if your spouse is close to your family.
As hard as it may be, you have to remember that the people who love you only want you to be happy. If being away from your spouse will make you happy, they will support your decision. It may take a while for them to accept the marriage is over, but eventually, they will. If you are the one initiating the divorce, it may take a little while longer to gain their support, but that is because they love you and don’t want to see you hurt.
Telling your parents may be the hardest discussion to start, but the last thing you want is for them to hear about your divorce from someone else. Make that phone call or stop by and tell them the news. Once you have told your closest friends and family, there are other ways to spread the news without making a thousand phone calls.
It may seem tacky, but you can send a mass email to people and tell them about the divorce. Many will call you right away, but at least the effort of making all of those calls is taken off your shoulders and if someone happens to call when you are having a bad minute, you can let the phone ring and call them back when you are calmer.
You can ask your family to share the news with the rest of the family. Once a few friends know, they can do the same. Unfortunately, news like this usually spreads quickly so be ready to deal with questions from others. You may be surprised at who isn’t surprised by your news. Often, those closest to us know more than we suspect they do.
Remember that when you do tell others about your divorce, it is perfectly fine for you to say it is happening, but you do not want to talk about it. Those who love you will understand and if someone keeps asking questions, it is okay for you to say again you don’t want to talk about it. Once someone is rude to you, you are under no obligation to be kind. Nip the questions in the bud and move on.
Breaking the news of your divorce to family and friends will not be easy. Share as many details as you are comfortable with and then ask for consideration from everyone as you move through this difficult process.
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