Dealing with the pain and stress of your divorce is hard. There are few things in life as difficult and emotional as a divorce, even if you want it and know you need it. Here are a few tips to help you deal with your stress.
Take care of yourself. Of course, your children will be your first concern, but the reality is, if you don’t take care of yourself, you will not be able to care for your children properly. It is okay for them to see you cry and know you are upset. Trying to hide your pain won’t fool anyone and if they need to know it is okay to express their own feelings, too. To take care of yourself, eat when you don’t feel like it and rest when you don’t think you will be able to sleep.
Consider your emotional needs. Don’t discuss the divorce in front of your children, but you do need to talk about it. Find a close friend that you can completely trust, a support group or a therapist to help you work through your feelings. Talking about the divorce can really help you work through your emotional stress.
Let go of things you cannot control. Feeling powerless is one of the biggest causes of stress. It is hard to not want to keep tight control over every part of our lives, but truly, there are some things we simply can’t control. Learn to recognize what you can change and what you can’t. Let go of what you can’t change. It will only bring you more stress.
Don’t make any major decisions right now. Making any decisions while you are so emotional will only backfire later. The stress you are feeling could make you think a complete change is what you need, but staying in your routine is what you really need to do. Let yourself heal from your divorce before you decide to sell your house or change jobs.
Have some fun. Fun may be the last thing you will ever do again, but a few minutes of fun will go a long way in reducing your stress levels. Bake some cookies, read a book, watch a funny movie, play tag with your kids. Anything that you enjoy doing is a great way to have some fun.
Remember that everyone deals with divorce in different ways. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel or what you should do next. These are personal choices that can only be made by you.
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