At times, when divorce is eminent one spouse will be angrier or hurt and want to get even with the other spouse. This can cause that spouse to want to fight about every detail, even if their spouse is willing to reach a settlement. A situation like this is hard on everyone involved.
If you are willing to work with your spouse for a settlement, but he/she is angry and wants to fight, there is nothing you can do to force him/her to forget the anger. This doesn’t mean you have to forget about an amicable divorce, it just means you will need to work a little harder to reach the agreement.
One of the best things you can do if you have a spouse who wants to fight is give him/her time and space. Obviously, you are impatient to get the divorce started and move on with your life, but if you try to force an angry person into an agreement, they may fight back even harder and become even more resistant to working with you. Give your spouse time to come to terms with the divorce.
Another way to help the situation would be to find a person your spouse trusts and ask him/her to talk to your spouse. Sometimes, hearing the situation from a neutral party is enough to show the angry spouse that the divorce is going to happen whether they want it or not. This person can also remind your spouse that fighting will cost more and add months to the divorce process. Whether talking to a friend will help or not depends a lot on your spouse.
If you have given your spouse time and the friend cannot change his/her mind, you may have to file for the divorce and fight in court. Even if this is not what you want to do, you cannot put your life on hold until your spouse comes to the realization that the divorce will happen. You can still be amicable in court. Ask for what you want/need and wait for the lawyers to work it out. This is not the best result for the situation or your family, but you cannot wait forever. Find a lawyer and start the process.
If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our ebook”What Your Divorce Attorney Probably Won’t Tell You.” This ebook details the things your divorce lawyer is likely to never tell you – the strategies, plans and attitudes you must adopt while filing for a divorce and the information you must amass in order to make educated decisions. Grab your copy here.