Ask anyone what they think the top reason for divorce is and you are likely to hear adultery. Many people believe that if someone cheats there is no hope for the relationship, so why stick around? Others feel that if they were betrayed, they would never trust their spouse again and would immediately file for divorce. Believe it or not, adultery is not the top reason for divorce.
The top reason for divorce is simply growing apart. There may be no compelling reason, such as adultery or abuse, for the divorce, but more a feeling of living separate lives in the same house and wanting more out of life. Many couples report they simply drifted apart and couldn’t find their way back to the love they once felt.
Our lives are so busy that it is easy to drift away from your spouse. After working all day, taking care of the home and kids, and running errands, spending quality time with your spouse is often the last thing on your mind. We all have crazy days where we are simply too tired to make the effort, but if this continues for a long period of time, making the first move may become impossible.
If you find yourself wondering when the last time you actually talked to your spouse (about something besides the house, the kids or the bills) it may be time to make that giant effort and plan a date night. Fortunately, it is possible to rekindle the passion if you are both willing to try. It won’t be easy, but if you don’t want to become a divorce statistic, you need to try.
Couples need to make time for each other. Finding that time is hard, so plan to start small. Hold hands while you watch TV or get up ten minutes earlier and have a cup of coffee together every morning. This is a great time of day – it’s quiet and neither of you is rushed. If possible, plan a date night once a week. You don’t need to go out and spend a lot of money.
Go for a walk and have an ice cream cone. Cook a romantic supper together. Watch your favorite DVDs and eat popcorn while you snuggle on the couch. Anything that you can do together is a great idea. Spending time like this will help prevent you from drifting apart and falling out of love with each other.
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