How will I know when I’m Ready to Date after a Divorce?

Dating After Divorce

How will I know when I’m Ready to Date after a Divorce? Dating after a divorce can be difficult.  It may be the last thing you want to think about, but eventually, you will heal enough that you will start to wonder about dating.  Remember that no one can tell you when you will be ready – this is an extremely personal decision.  You will know when you are ready to go out. Some experts believe that you should wait a month for every year you were married.  This means if you were married 20 years, you might want to wait 20 months before starting to date. However, if your marriage was over before you ever considered divorce you might be ready long before that.  Just be sure you are thinking about going out because you want to and not because you are lonely and are hoping a new relationship will make you feel better about yourself.  That just isn’t fair and you may miss a great opportunity. Keep your first dates casual.  Go to lunch at a new place you have wanted to try.  Go to an outdoor concert or a sporting event you both enjoy.  Try roller-blading or ice skating.  You want to choose something fun where you can chat, but won’t be overwhelmed by having to talk every minute.  A movie might be a good choice, if you are really nervous. If you have children, there is no reason for them to know you are dating until you are serious about someone.  They may ask if you are dating and you will not want to lie, so simply say you are, but that you are only having fun and have not met someone special enough to bring home to them, yet. When you meet that person, you will want to mention him/her to the children in a casual way.  You may mention something funny that happened in the movie you saw or tell them how you fell when you were skating.  Let them get used to hearing his/her name before they meet.  When it is time for them to meet each other, again, plan something casual.  You might have a cookout at your home or take everyone to the park to skate.  If your new friend or the children are not ready to meet, you need to respect that.  Your children should always come first in your life, not someone who may not be around in a few weeks. Remember, if you rush into finding a new relationship and marriage, you may be setting yourself up for another divorce.  Take your time and have some fun!

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