Choosing to file for divorce is a very personal process. You can read all the books and listen to as many people as you can ask, but knowing when it is time for divorce is ultimately your decision. Only you know what you are willing to accept in a spouse and what you are not. While it is your choice, if any of the following is happening in your marriage, it might be a sign that your marriage is in trouble.
- If you have lost respect for your spouse. Respect is an important part of loving someone and if you no longer respect that person to make good decisions, you may have trouble in your marriage. Losing respect can occur for many reasons, from the way your spouse treats you or others to how honest he/she is. Respect is hard to get back once it is gone.
- If you no longer trust your spouse. Trust is just as important as respect in a relationship and is even harder to regain once it has been lost. If your spouse has betrayed you in any way, you may find that you doubt everything he/she says or does. This will erode your marriage quickly.
- If you live separate lives. Everyone is so busy these days that it can be hard to remember to focus on each other at times. If you discover that you hardly see your spouse and it’s been that way for months, you need to take drastic action. Always set aside a few minutes every day to connect with your spouse. If you discover you really don’t care if you connect or not, you may need to examine why that is.
- Any kind of abuse. If you are being abused in any way, it is time to find a counselor to help you or get a divorce. Physical abuse is usually the most obvious abuse, but verbal, emotional and mental can cause just as much damage. You deserve to be treated with kindness and in a respectful manner. If your spouse cannot do that, it is time to be away from him/her.
Each of these may be signs your marriage is going through a rough time, but some marriages can be saved. Even in cases of abuse, counseling can offer tips to stop the abuse and save your marriage. It will not be easy, but if you truly want to save your marriage, working hard will be worth the effort. Some people just don’t care about the marriage any longer and in cases like that, divorce is probably the best option.
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