When you are in a bad marriage, it can be hard to handle everything else in your life. Knowing where to turn for help is difficult, too. Going to see a therapist is a great way to gain perspective with your life and having someone neutral to talk to can be the best thing you have ever done.
Therapists are trained in ways to help you open up about your problems, whether those problems are financial, emotional or marital. Sometimes, just having someone listen to you “vent” is enough to help you gain the perspective you need to make decisions about your life.
One thing you should never expect from your therapist is for him/her to tell you what to do with your life. You may be there for advice, but therapists will never tell you when to divorce. Choosing to divorce is an extremely personal decision and one only you can make. Your therapist is simply someone who will listen to you and offer opinions on what may help you.
You cannot rely on anyone else’s opinion on when to divorce. You are the only person living in your circumstances and what may be unacceptable to others, such as adultery, may be something you are willing to work through. In the same way that your friends’ marriages may not be what you would live with, yours may be the same for them.
Marriages can be improved if both spouses truly want to have a better life together. However, there are times when you need to consider your safety and that of your children as more important than staying married. If there is any type of abuse in the home, you need to stand up for yourself and get away from the person who is hurting you. It won’t be easy and, at times, you may not even realize abuse is happening.
Verbal and emotional abuse is much harder to recognize than physical abuse. If there is abuse in the relationship, your therapist may point this out to you, but still, you cannot expect them to tell you when to divorce. Personal decisions like this must be thought about carefully and only made by you. Some people realize it is time to divorce when they think about the future and don’t care whether their spouse is in the picture. You will know when you have had enough of the marriage.
If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our free 7-Day “Divorce 101” course. Sign up below and you’ll immediately start receiving tips and guidance you can use to minimize the pain and time required to get through the divorce process.