How to Handle Child Custody Decisions in your Divorce

A divorce is always difficult on everyone involved, but when children are part of the situation, it can be even more devastating.  Thinking about the pain that a divorce will cause their children could be part of the reason many marriages last much longer than they should.  There are ways to make gaining custody of your children easier.

The most important aspect of any child custody battle is to keep the children’s best interest foremost in your mind.  It is understandable that you want to hurt your spouse, but fighting with him/her will only cause your children more pain.  Is that something you really want to do?  While you are trying to win custody of your children, remember that anything they hear you say negative about their other parent will cause pain.  Fight your battle in court and not in front of the kids.

If you want full custody of your children, you will need proof of any accusations you make against your spouse. Your word will not be enough for the courts to rule in your favor.  Keep any communications between you and your spouse and make notes about any incidents that occur.  In some cases, older children may be asked which parent they want to live with, but even then, the judge may rule differently.

It is best for everyone involved if you and your spouse can design an agreeable settlement between yourselves instead of fighting in court.  Not only will working together get your divorce finalized faster, you will be staying friendly with your spouse which will make your children happier and more at ease.  Also, if you plan your own custody arrangements, you can take into account any special needs your family may have instead of being told what nights your child will visit their other parent by the court system.

Remember that unlike divorces where no children are present, you will have to see and interact with your ex for the rest of your life.  He/she will always be part of your child’s life and yours.  While you may not have to see him/her often, there will be times when you will and you need to be able to be in the same room with them without conflict.  Again, this is what is best for your children and that is ultimately always a parent’s top goal – what is best for the children.

If you are currently involved in a divorce and require legal guidance, before you spend thousands of dollars in legal fees, check out our ebook “How to Win Child Custody.” This ebook explains the details of child custody including the information you need to know before your divorce begins and how to keep the children the most important things you think about as you go through the process.  Grab your copy here.

Rick Banks